1. You may never feel like going out. So you’ve become a recluse — don’t worry about it. It’s not necessary to parade down the streets with your newborn. Go outside when you feel comfortable. Especially as you have to take into account the 100 extra bits that accompany you anywhere you go with a baby, you have to dress the baby and yourself which can seem like way to much trouble when your dressing gown is so comfy, plus ensuring your baby is fed and changed before heading out can take hours. Don’t feel bad about staying in and getting comfy with your baby, let it all hang out and watch some day time tv.
2. Your baby is an individual This sounds like common sense right? But honestly, you have to remember what works for some babies might not work for yours. The guidance you read might not work for your little human because they are their own character. They might not like being swaddled, they might hate being rocked, they might hate silence and only fall asleep when there’s music playing or a tv on. It’s good to try everything but don’t be surprised if your bundle of joy doesn’t comply with what you try!
3. You will worry when your baby is too quiet So your sweet bundle of joy has finally dropped off to sleep. Ok so now you can start doing things around the house, or even have a nap yourself. Nope. You find yourself checking on your baby every 60 seconds. Cool cool, he’s still breathing, I can see his belly rising up and down, oh good his face is still in place and yes he’s still got 2 arms and 2 legs.
4. Breastfeeding actually isn’t for everyone. It’s promoted everywhere, and it’s all you hear about as a mum, but believe it or not, breastfeeding doesn’t come naturally to every woman just because we have boobs. Some women physically can’t breastfeed while others don’t feel confident enough to do it. It might not even suit your lifestyle, and just because there’s a lot of pressure to breastfeed it doesn’t mean you have to. It’s not a rule, it’s a decision.
5. You may feel lonely If you’re used to being around a lot of people like for instance when you were at work, being alone with your baby at home can make you feel isolated. It’s important to make sure you get out of the house and get some fresh air, you can become stir crazy at home all day with a demanding baby.
6. You’ll learn to eat incredibly fast You’ve got approximately 5 minutes or even less before the ticking time bomb whose currently napping, wakes up and screams. In that time you’ll learn how to eat a whole meal without even chewing a single bite. If your baby wakes up, you might even master the skill of eating with one hand only. You’ll discover a fork can be a knife and a spoon if you practice hard enough.
7. Every trip out will be like you’re heading off on holiday. You take EVERYTHING with you, EVERYWHERE. Before babies, you put on one outfit, grabbed your keys, money and phone and left without a care in the world. Now you take 5 spare outfits, a nappy bag, pre sterilised bottles, formula for the sterilised bottles, a blanket, a dummy, a spare dummy, the pram, a car seat possibly, a travel changing mat, probably another spare outfit, bibs, your baby’s favorite toy and that’s before any of your own stuff!
8. Your adult life lasts about 3 hours Once your baby is down for the night, you cram everything adultish into about 3 hours. You rush dinner, you scoff down some chocolate afterwards, you turn on Netflix and you’re normally asleep by the second episode.
9. You will no longer poo in peace. Gone are the days where you can take as long as you like going to the toilet. Do I wait until he’s fallen asleep to go, do I go now while he’s happy. You might as well ask your baby boss if it’s ok for you to have a quick toilet break. You will learn how to take the quickest dump in history, there’s no more time for constipation and other time consuming activities. Toileting at your leisure becomes a distant memory, and back when you could...you never even considered it a luxury.
10. Babies are more resilient than you think Now this has only happened once, but it does happen. Your baby is asleep on you after feeding. You decide you can’t nap and have a look at your phone to catch up with any unseen messages. One thing leads to another and your phone accidentally slips out of your hand and you drop your phone on your baby’s sleeping head. You'll probably feel awful about it until they’re about 16 and answering you back. Remember babies are a lot more resilient than you think.